Drowning Oz

I have no thoughts on this. I’m totally lost. All I have is the question. It boggles the mind.I’m in my anthropology class where a young lady just offered up a praise to God that her sister’s house was safe from the storm that hit the gulf. Don’t get me wrong, I’m genuinely happy for her.  But why was a house saved when so many lives were lost? Why? I usually have an opinion, but I’m seeking the answer. And so far, the ones that I am finding terrify me. Join the conversation. 

What follows is a commencement address I recently delivered. No matter what it sounds like, I was not stumping for Barack Obama. 

Throughout the history of our species, there have come crucial hours where everything hangs in the balance. Hours when the choices of a few can affect the fates of many, and when the future of generations lies in the hands of the youth of the nation. 

Living in an age of global climate change, increased tension in foreign affairs, and worldwide poverty and destitution, we live in such an hour.  Our world is filled with challenges and issues that are unique and require the strength and determination of the entire population. Our responses to these issues, now and in our adult futures, will be the deciding factor in the future of our world.

When I turn on the news today, I wonder, where are the revolutionaries?  Where are the people from the famous stories; those who saw what was wrong with the world and did something about it? People like Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Harriet Tubman, William Wilberforce and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. The catalysts who refused to give up, the ones who made history, regardless of birth, race, age or nationality.

Where are the revolutionaries of my generation, the ones that will be remembered?

And then I realize / the revolutionaries could be right here. 

These last four years I have been honored to be in the presence of the future of our world, to be among a group of students with the empathy, passion, and drive to do something that goes beyond themselves and lasts. Like William James said: “The great use of life is to spend it on something that will outlast it.” I want to say that no matter what you choose to do in your professional life, it is up to each and every one of us to make a difference; maybe even to save humanity.

We live in a world filled with pain and suffering, and, since no one else seems willing to care for it, it is our responsibility to bring healing and hope to those who have none. 

Saving our fellow man from destruction may require a journey to the ends of the earth; but it is possible. 

We can do it.

The combined passions, abilities, gifts, and strengths of our generation, of our class, are enough to alter the course of history.  We just need to replace the spirit of cynicism with the spirit of hope. In the words of Anne Lamott: “Hope begins in the dark; the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: You don’t give up.”

It will be really easy to casually glance at the hurting and injustice and think “that’s awful, someone should do something.” 
I will be really easy to think someone else will take care of it.

We must do something.

We must fight the apathy that has become so indicative of the generations before us.

We must act.

It is in our hands.

So, in the future, live for something greater than yourself, for someone that can do nothing for you, and make a difference. Let history say that we were the ones who lived for peace, who stood against injustice, and who eradicated poverty.

It is possible, and it is in our hands.

I’ve been posting off and on for about two years. I’ve had some people follow what I’ve had to say with about the same regularity. But now, I guess it’s time to come out and say it:
I have only just turned 18. For the majority of the time, I’ve just been some random kid ruminating on the struggles of life (from my very limited perspective). I hope to get back into posting rather quickly, because I hope things will be changing rapidly.

Anyway, sorry if I ever mislead.

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So, I’ve not written in a while, and for good reason, I’ve had nothing to say.

But now there are new things to discuss and deal with and I’m just going to get right into it.

These days I’m trying to get my bearings in filmmaking (or at least as much as I can in the Midwest). Creating some shorts, getting my connections, and preparing for some small scale festivals on the horizon. Lately I’ve been focusing on my latest script How Long, a three-in-one story about how things can go so badly, but love changes everything.

But, in the meantime, I’ve been learning my lessions and taking my hits as a theatre artist. I’m working on a play called Dancing at Lughnasa basically a story of five Irish sisters and the few men in their lives. I portray a character named Jack, and here is where my epiphany begins. Jack lives as a missionary in Uganda for 25 years and ultimately converts to their own form of paganism. What struck me as interesting, while talking to a man I met who was a real missionary in Uganda for seven years, was that many missionaries, not just literary figures, go through the same kind of thing. They get adjusted to the cultural changes, then they start to join in to them, and ultimately take one step at a time to a totally new religion and way of life that they did not expect.

And I couldn’t help but thinking: “This happens to me and my comrades all the time.” I’ve been in those situations where it’s so very easy to slowly get acclimated to the way of thinking and living that I would have once found repulsive. Sometimes this can be good, but often it leads me down a path I don’t want to go.

I know that there have been whole books written on this, but I just thought I’d contribute.

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I want some commentary on this.

I just got word that the wife of a pastor in my affiliation filed for divorce. He said that he would never be divorced. So as a result, he commited suicide.

Does anyone have anything to say about this? For a while I have been involved with people that I work with, who struggle with depression, such as it often is with actors.

And I was just wondering if there was anyone out there who had any insight. Because I don’t understand.

Join the conversation.

They just leave me exhausted.

Does this happen to anyone else? I wake up Sunday morning already exhausted because I sleep the worst on Saturday nights. Get up, get dressed, drive to the building where the service is held, and proceed to try and keep the service from blowing up.

I serve as a quasi-producer/technical director, and it just sucks the life out of me. I love the actual work I do. I get to problem solve, play with fancy toys I can’t afford, and occasionally tell people what to do (I don’t care who you are, on some level you like it too). Our pastor is great, the music is stellar, and I couldn’t ask for better people to work with.

But I loathe it. The process, the night before, the afternoon afterwards. I take a ritual three hour Sunday afternoon nap just to recoup. And it’s not the kind of exhaustion where you feel really good about what you’ve done, like you’ve made a difference, or even like after finishing manual labor, where you can see some sort of accomplishment.

Set up, run, take down. It all goes back in the closet and I’m shorted six hours of my life.

Is it supposed to be like this? Because I know I’m supposed to serve where I have been gifted. And I’ve been doing this kind of gig for five years now. But I just leave worse than I started. I thought service was a crucial part of living and finding fulfillment. But I feel that watching reruns of old sitcoms is better worth my time.

I looked at my motives for doing it and I’m not sure why I do. It’s not for the recognition, I’ve never had a more thankless job. Not for the money, I don’t even get paid. I just don’t know anymore.

So what now? Because it’s kinda bleak.

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One thing that continues to confuse me is Gap’s continuing Product (RED) campaign. This is an opportunity to purchase clothing and let a portion of that money go to charity.

You can purchase over-priced, poorly designed clothing and let a part of that go to charity. When it is as cost effective to buy cheaper clothing and give the money away.

It’s letting us indulge our incessant want for stuff, our gluttonous desire for the material, by making us feel better with our token gift.

It made me wonder why they were doing it. Both the people who purcased the items and the store itself. The store obviously saw this as a way to make money and the people were subconsciously pacifing their guilt about doing so little to enact change in the world.

As I paroused the other shops in the same mall, it became apparent to me other things about the place. One shop I visited had many well-designed t-shirts for sale, emblazoned with words raging against conformity and corruption. How the establishment was destroying everything that was good and noble in the world.

This, on a mass-produced t-shirt, in a shopping mall, at a chain store, that was preying on people’s need for “fashionable” clothing.

All of the stores bore pictures of attractive young people. All of them carried the same basic designs, colors, and fashions. And all of them saw hundreds and thousands of coustomers daily, leaving with arms full of clothing, no more satisfied than when they entered.

Every store, every company, every advertisement telling the people that they are not good enough as they are, with what they look like, and with what they are wearing. Inspiring us to indulge our guttony even further with things that we don’t need.

We are told that we can be saved, here and now, by the things we purchase. That these things will complete us, fill us, and make us feel better. That wholeness and peace can be attained by the items in our closet. And that having is better than giving. And that ownership is better than generosity. And that “how much” is better than “why”.

One disclaimer: I am not against things. When you are hungry, a sandwich is a very good “thing” to have. But I am against corporate manipulation. I am against gluttony and over-indulgence. I’m not even against brand names and labeled clothing.

But I am against the lack of thought that is going into what we do, say and buy.